All I Want For Christmas . . .

This is too easy.

As the Doozer's third official Christmas approaches, he is more attuned to the trappings of the season than he was even a year ago at this time. And he's beginning to grasp the concept that Santa Claus is a figure who brings presents (usually toys) to good boys and girls. So, when my wife and I asked our son what he wanted Santa to bring him for Christmas this year, his response was swift and rather simple.

"New toothpaste!"

Cue double-take.

We asked again. And got the same answer. For weeks we've inquired now and for weeks, the Doozer has been unwavering in his response.

The kid really wants that toothpaste.

Obviously, we've explained to him that it's customary for Santa to bring toys as presents. He seems to understand, he appears to follow this logic. Yet still, he persists in asking for toothpaste.

Weirdo.

Now, I'm not complaining, mind you. A two year-old who values oral hygiene over cheap plastic trinkets? Who wouldn't want that? I'm just starting to rethink all the wads of cash we've already dropped on toys for the little guy . . .

Certainly, in years to come, he will become focused like a laser beam on stuff he will get for Christmas (as most kids do). So for now, I should enjoy the fact that his primary preoccupation this holiday is actually lights, instead of presents. That's right. Lights. The ones on neighbors' houses and our own tree and lining the main thoroughfare of our town.

You might even say he's obsessed with seeing Christmas lights. Whenever we leave the house, he asks about seeing them. Even in the middle of the day (he hasn't quite figured out why daylight and outdoor Christmas lights don't mix).

He's even become a big fan of the light on the nose of that immortal holiday character, "Red Nose-Off the Reindeer." What? That's what he told us the reindeer's name was. Okay, maybe he invented an entirely new character there.

He also discovered Frosty the Snowman and the Grinch (by discovered, I mean indoctrinated by his parents), so he now knows the true meaning of Christmas: cartoon specials.

I'm kidding. It's toothpaste.

Happy holidays . . .

( . . . is what terrorists say. Merry Christmas!)*

*The author must tip his hat to Jack Donaghy for this, his favorite 30 Rock quote of 2010.